Organisations describe what they do. Almost none describe what they do not, which means people find out at the point of asking, usually at the worst moment.
This is the list. It is here so that you can decide whether to contact us at all, and so that nobody spends two weeks waiting for something that was never available.
We are not an emergency service
We do not have a vehicle that arrives in ten minutes. There is no twenty-four hour control room.
If somebody is being hurt now, call 112. Call us afterwards, or tomorrow, for everything that is not tonight. Which number does what is set out separately.
We cannot always find you a bed
Accommodation is the thing we are asked for most and the thing that runs out first. Some weeks there is nothing.
When there is nothing we will say so immediately rather than keeping you hopeful, and we will work the other routes — a relative, a rented room, a few nights somewhere, or a protection order that removes him from the home instead of moving you. Sometimes those are better anyway.
We also have very little that is accessible for a woman with mobility needs, and almost nothing for a woman with an older son past a shelter’s age limit. Those are real gaps and we would rather name them than let you discover them at a gate.
We do not house men
Our accommodation, programmes and funding are for women. What we can still offer a man is written down and it is legal advice, a safety plan, honest information about what exists locally, and being taken seriously. It is not a bed and we will not imply otherwise.
We are not clinicians, lawyers or the police
We arrange lawyers; we are not one, and nothing we say is legal advice about your case. We fund counselling and medical care; we do not provide treatment. We support people through the police process; we cannot make a station act, and we cannot make an officer take a statement.
We also cannot provide long-term psychiatric care, addiction treatment, or care for an adult who cannot live independently. Those need people trained for them and we will try to tell you who.
We cannot make anything happen faster
Courts are slow. Documents take months. Police investigations stall. We can chase, attend, ask again and make a nuisance of ourselves, and we cannot change the timetable.
Anybody promising you speed in a Nigerian court process is either mistaken or is describing something you should not be part of.
We will not do these things
- Contact anybody without your permission. Not police, family, employer, clinic or lawyer. The only exception is a child at risk of serious harm or somebody in immediate danger, and we will tell you we are doing it.
- Tell you to leave, or tell you to stay. Many of the women we work with stay, and the help is the same either way.
- Mediate with somebody who has hurt you. You cannot speak freely in that room and you go home afterwards.
- Speak to your husband on your behalf. Under any circumstances, however reasonable it sounds.
- Pay a bride price refund. The reasoning is set out in full — paying it would set the price for every woman after you.
- Give your details to a funder. Not a name, a photograph or a story, at any level of giving. Why is written out, and the rule has cost us money.
- Pay you an income. We fund specific costs — fees, transport, deposits, documents, treatment — not a monthly allowance.
- Guarantee an outcome. Not custody, not a conviction, not a property settlement, not a job.
We cannot keep you safe
This is the hardest one and it needs saying plainly.
Nothing we do makes anybody safe. A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. An address stays private until somebody mentions it. A plan works until the day it does not.
What we can do is reduce risk, remove practical obstacles, and make sure you are not doing it alone. Anybody in this field who promises safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
We get things wrong
We take a first description at face value and miss how serious something is. We are slow. We lose track of somebody. We promise a call back and it does not come.
If that happens, say so, and it will go to somebody other than the person who dealt with you. We would rather hear it than have you conclude that this is what services are like.
Why write this down
Because a fast honest no is worth more than a slow maybe, and the slow maybe is what most people actually get.
A limit stated in advance lets you plan around it. A limit discovered on the night you needed it leaves you with nothing. So we would rather run a smaller service that does what it says than a larger one that says yes to everything and delivers unevenly — which is the specific failure that produces women going back.
What happens when we say no covers the practical side, and the six programmes are deliberately six rather than sixteen for the same reason.
Questions people ask
Are you available at night?
Not as an emergency service. If somebody is being hurt now, call 112. Call us for everything that is not tonight.
Can you guarantee me somewhere to stay?
No. Accommodation runs out, and some weeks there is nothing. When there is nothing we say so immediately and work the other routes, including a protection order that removes him rather than moving you.
Will you talk to my husband for me?
No, under any circumstances. Nor will we mediate with somebody who has hurt you, because you cannot speak freely in that room and you go home afterwards.
Can you promise I will be safe?
No, and anybody who does is selling something. We can reduce risk, remove practical obstacles and make sure you are not doing it alone. The promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
You said you would call and you did not. What do I do?
Tell us. It goes to somebody other than the person who dealt with you. We would rather hear it than have you conclude that this is simply what services are like.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 112. To talk to HealBridge, call or send a message to +2348025170267, or use the form on our contact page. Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right, and pressing the letter E three times does the same thing.
Before you rely on anything on this page
We publish these articles so that you can understand a subject and work out what to ask for. They are written carefully and in good faith. They are still general information about how things usually work, and not advice about your situation, which we do not know.
- This is not legal advice.
- We are not a law firm. Criminal law in Nigeria is largely a state matter, the VAPP Act applies in a state only if that state adopted it, and statutory, customary and Islamic marriages are governed by different law and different courts. Two people with the same facts can have genuinely different options. Get advice from a lawyer who practises where you live — and if cost is the obstacle, ask us, because arranging that is part of what we do.
- This is not medical advice.
- Nothing here is a diagnosis and nothing here replaces being examined. Do not delay seeing a doctor, nurse or pharmacist because of something you read here, and do not start, stop or change any treatment on the strength of it. If something is time critical, go and be seen.
- This is not counselling, and it is not financial advice.
- Articles about trauma, sleep, money, debt, renting or starting a business describe what commonly helps. They are not therapy and they are not a recommendation about your own money. Speak to a counsellor, a qualified adviser or your own bank about your circumstances.
- It may be out of date, or wrong for where you are.
- Law changes, services close, numbers stop answering and practice varies by state. We correct what we find, and we cannot promise that every page is current on the day you read it. Where we do not have something confirmed, we say so rather than fill the gap.
- Reading this does not make us your lawyer or your doctor.
- No professional relationship is created by reading an article, and we cannot accept liability for decisions taken on the strength of one. What we can do is help you reach somebody who is qualified to advise you, which is what the legal and health parts of our work exist for.
- We cannot promise an outcome, and we cannot make anybody safe.
- A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. A plan works until the day it does not. Anybody in this field promising safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
Do not let this notice stop you acting. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. If something is medically urgent, go to a hospital — you do not need a police report to be treated. And if you do not know where to start, that is a normal way to begin: use the contact page and we will take it from there.
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