If somebody checks the device you are reading this on, the fact that you visited a domestic abuse website is itself information you may not want them to have. This article explains what you can do about that, and what you cannot.
Quick Exit
Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right. Pressing it leaves this site immediately and replaces the page in your browser history, so pressing Back does not bring you back here. Pressing the letter E three times does the same thing, which is useful if somebody walks in and you are not near the button.
What Quick Exit cannot do is erase the pages you visited before you arrived. For that you need to clear history, and that is a separate decision with its own risk.
Clearing history
Chrome on Android. Tap the three dots, then History, then Clear browsing data. Choose the time range, and include browsing history, cookies and cached files.
Safari on iPhone. Settings, then Safari, then Clear History and Website Data. Note that this clears all tabs as well.
Chrome on a computer. Press Ctrl, Shift and Delete together.
One serious warning. If your history is normally full and is suddenly completely empty, that is itself noticeable and in some households more dangerous than the original visit. Clearing the last hour is usually less conspicuous than clearing everything.
Private browsing is not invisibility
Incognito on Chrome and Private on Safari stop the browser from saving history on the device. That is all they do.
They do not hide anything from the network, from your employer, from a monitoring app installed on the phone, or from an account you are signed in to. If you are signed into Google in a private window, your searches are still recorded against your account.
Treat private browsing as tidiness rather than protection.
The two things people forget
Search history on the account. Search terms are saved by the search engine against your account as well as by the browser. Clearing browser history does not touch that. If you use Google while signed in, check your account activity separately and delete from there.
Address bar autofill. Typing a single letter and having this site appear as a suggestion is a common way women are discovered. Clearing browsing data usually removes it, but check afterwards by typing the first letter.
The safest option
Use a device he cannot reach. A phone belonging to a friend, a computer at a library, at work, at a school office, at a clinic or at a place of worship.
Nothing you do on your own device is as safe as not using your own device. If you can only do one thing from this article, do that one.
If you cannot hide anything
Some women are monitored closely enough that any change is dangerous. If that is you, do not fight the device.
- Use somebody else’s phone.
- Ask a friend to call us on your behalf and pass on what we say.
- Speak to us from a place he does not go, such as a clinic, a school office or a workplace.
- Tell us the safest way and time to reply, and we will follow it exactly. If the only safe window is Tuesday mornings by message and never by voice, that is what we will do.
Nothing you might read on this site is worth being caught reading it.
What this site does and does not do
We set no advertising trackers, no analytics that follow you to other sites, and no social media pixels. There is no Google Maps embed on our contact page, because loading one would tell a third party that your browser opened a domestic abuse website. Our fonts are served from our own server for the same reason.
So the visit will not be reported to anybody by us. Whether your own device records it is the separate question this article is about, and the settings on the phone itself are the other half of it.
Questions people ask
Will he know I read this page?
Not from us. This site loads nothing from other companies and sets no tracking cookies. Whether your own device records the visit is a separate question, and this article covers it.
Does deleting history look suspicious?
It can, if the history is normally full. Deleting the last hour rather than everything is usually less conspicuous.
Is incognito mode safe?
It stops the browser saving history on the device and does nothing else. It does not hide anything from monitoring software or from an account you are signed into.
What is the safest way to contact you?
From a device he cannot reach. Tell us how and when it is safe to reply, and we will follow that exactly.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 112. To talk to HealBridge, call or send a message to +2348025170267, or use the form on our contact page. Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right, and pressing the letter E three times does the same thing.
Before you rely on anything on this page
We publish these articles so that you can understand a subject and work out what to ask for. They are written carefully and in good faith. They are still general information about how things usually work, and not advice about your situation, which we do not know.
- This is not legal advice.
- We are not a law firm. Criminal law in Nigeria is largely a state matter, the VAPP Act applies in a state only if that state adopted it, and statutory, customary and Islamic marriages are governed by different law and different courts. Two people with the same facts can have genuinely different options. Get advice from a lawyer who practises where you live — and if cost is the obstacle, ask us, because arranging that is part of what we do.
- This is not medical advice.
- Nothing here is a diagnosis and nothing here replaces being examined. Do not delay seeing a doctor, nurse or pharmacist because of something you read here, and do not start, stop or change any treatment on the strength of it. If something is time critical, go and be seen.
- This is not counselling, and it is not financial advice.
- Articles about trauma, sleep, money, debt, renting or starting a business describe what commonly helps. They are not therapy and they are not a recommendation about your own money. Speak to a counsellor, a qualified adviser or your own bank about your circumstances.
- It may be out of date, or wrong for where you are.
- Law changes, services close, numbers stop answering and practice varies by state. We correct what we find, and we cannot promise that every page is current on the day you read it. Where we do not have something confirmed, we say so rather than fill the gap.
- Reading this does not make us your lawyer or your doctor.
- No professional relationship is created by reading an article, and we cannot accept liability for decisions taken on the strength of one. What we can do is help you reach somebody who is qualified to advise you, which is what the legal and health parts of our work exist for.
- We cannot promise an outcome, and we cannot make anybody safe.
- A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. A plan works until the day it does not. Anybody in this field promising safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
Do not let this notice stop you acting. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. If something is medically urgent, go to a hospital — you do not need a police report to be treated. And if you do not know where to start, that is a normal way to begin: use the contact page and we will take it from there.
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