Most writing about Nigerian family law describes the High Court. Most women never go near one. They end up in a Customary Court or a Sharia Court, because that is what governs their marriage, and because those courts are nearer, faster and affordable.
Being unprepared for them is common and avoidable. This is what they are, what they can do, and what to expect.
Customary courts
These apply the custom of the relevant community. There is no single customary law in Nigeria — it varies between communities, and part of what a court does is establish what the applicable custom actually is.
They are generally quicker, cheaper and much less formal than the High Court. Proceedings are often in a local language, lawyers are not always required, and the atmosphere is closer to a hearing than to a trial. For a woman without money or documents, that accessibility is not a small thing.
What they handle: dissolution of customary marriages, custody, maintenance within their powers, and disputes about property held under customary arrangements. What they can order about property is generally narrower than a High Court’s powers.
One limit worth knowing. A custom that is contrary to natural justice, equity and good conscience, or that conflicts with written law, is not supposed to be applied. That principle is the basis on which higher courts have set aside customs that disinherit widows and daughters, and it is worth knowing that a custom being long-standing does not automatically make it enforceable.
Appeals exist. Decisions can be appealed upward, and a woman who has lost in a Customary Court has not necessarily reached the end.
Sharia courts
These apply Islamic personal law in states that have them, with Sharia Courts of Appeal above them. They hear marriage, dissolution, custody, maintenance and inheritance for Muslims.
The most common misconception, held by a great many women, is that a wife cannot end an Islamic marriage without her husband agreeing. That is not the position.
- Talaq is divorce pronounced by the husband.
- Khul’ is divorce sought by the wife, typically in return for giving back the dower or an agreed sum. It does not require him to be at fault.
- Faskh is dissolution granted by the court on established grounds, which include cruelty, failure to maintain, desertion, and impotence. This is the route where there is abuse, and it does not depend on his consent.
Two further points that are regularly ignored in practice. The dower agreed at marriage belongs to the wife, not to her family and not to his. And a husband has a duty to maintain his wife and children, with failure to do so being a recognised ground for dissolution.
On custody, Islamic law generally gives the mother the care of young children, with the age at which that changes varying between schools of jurisprudence and between courts. A woman told flatly that she will lose her children at a fixed age should ask, because the answer is less absolute than it is usually presented.
Where these courts are strong
Speed and cost, overwhelmingly. A dissolution that takes years and a fortune in the High Court can take a fraction of both here.
They are local, so travel and lost working days are less of an obstacle. Proceedings are in a language you speak. The judge or alkali frequently understands the family context in a way a distant court would not. And because the community recognises the outcome, it tends to be accepted in a way that a High Court order sometimes is not.
Where they are weak
Property and money. Powers are narrower, awards are often small, and enforcement is harder.
Custom can also cut against you, particularly on children and on land, and the composition of these courts has historically been overwhelmingly male. Records are less complete, which matters if you later need to prove what was decided.
And there is significant variation between individual courts. Two courts applying the same body of law can behave quite differently, which is why local knowledge is worth more here than legal research.
Practical points if you are going
- Find out first which court has jurisdiction. Going to the wrong one wastes months. It depends on your marriage type and on your state — establish that first.
- Take somebody with you. A woman who arrives alone is treated differently from one who arrives with a relative, a lawyer or somebody from an organisation. That should not be true and it is.
- Take documents. Whatever proves the marriage, the children, and anything about money. Photographs and receipts count.
- Write down what you are asking for before you go, in plain terms, so that it does not get lost in a discussion of the marriage generally.
- Ask for the order in writing and keep it. Ask what happens if it is not obeyed, and note the answer.
- Ask about the appeal route and the time limit, even if you are hoping not to need it.
What these courts do not affect
Your protection from violence. A criminal complaint and a protection order are separate from any family proceedings, and they are not conditional on how your marriage is governed.
Where a Customary Court or a Sharia Court is dealing with your marriage, that does not prevent a police complaint about an assault, and it does not prevent an application for a protection order in the appropriate court. What is available where you live is set out separately, and a woman is entitled to pursue both at once.
Being told the family should settle it first
This is the usual response and it is worth thinking about rather than simply accepting or refusing.
Family mediation genuinely resolves some things faster and better than a court, particularly where both families want a workable outcome. It is also routinely used to pressure a woman into accepting less, to extract an agreement about bride price, or to make a criminal matter disappear.
Two rules make it safer. Do not attend alone, and do not sign anything on the day. Take whatever is proposed away, show it to somebody who is on your side, and come back. A signed family settlement can be produced later as evidence that everything was resolved, and pressure to sign immediately is the clearest warning sign there is.
And if violence is in the picture, mediation with somebody who has hurt you is not a safe process. That is not a cultural objection, it is a practical one: you cannot say what is true in front of him, and you go home with him afterwards.
Questions people ask
Can a wife end an Islamic marriage without her husband agreeing?
Yes. Khul’ allows a wife to seek divorce, typically in return for returning the dower or an agreed sum, and faskh is dissolution granted by the court on grounds including cruelty, failure to maintain and desertion. Neither depends on his consent.
Is a customary court worse for women?
Not automatically, and it is often the only realistic route. It is faster and cheaper, and its powers over property are narrower. A custom contrary to natural justice, equity and good conscience is not supposed to be applied, and higher courts have set several aside.
Who does the dower belong to?
The wife. Not her family and not his. This is frequently ignored in practice and it is worth stating plainly when it comes up.
Will I automatically lose my children at a certain age?
It is less absolute than it is usually presented. Islamic law generally gives the mother care of young children, and the age at which that changes varies between schools and between courts. Ask rather than accepting a flat answer.
Can I go to the police as well as to a customary or Sharia court?
Yes. Criminal complaints and protection orders are separate from family proceedings and are not conditional on how your marriage is governed. You can pursue both at once.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 112. To talk to HealBridge, call or send a message to +2348025170267, or use the form on our contact page. Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right, and pressing the letter E three times does the same thing.
Before you rely on anything on this page
We publish these articles so that you can understand a subject and work out what to ask for. They are written carefully and in good faith. They are still general information about how things usually work, and not advice about your situation, which we do not know.
- This is not legal advice.
- We are not a law firm. Criminal law in Nigeria is largely a state matter, the VAPP Act applies in a state only if that state adopted it, and statutory, customary and Islamic marriages are governed by different law and different courts. Two people with the same facts can have genuinely different options. Get advice from a lawyer who practises where you live — and if cost is the obstacle, ask us, because arranging that is part of what we do.
- This is not medical advice.
- Nothing here is a diagnosis and nothing here replaces being examined. Do not delay seeing a doctor, nurse or pharmacist because of something you read here, and do not start, stop or change any treatment on the strength of it. If something is time critical, go and be seen.
- This is not counselling, and it is not financial advice.
- Articles about trauma, sleep, money, debt, renting or starting a business describe what commonly helps. They are not therapy and they are not a recommendation about your own money. Speak to a counsellor, a qualified adviser or your own bank about your circumstances.
- It may be out of date, or wrong for where you are.
- Law changes, services close, numbers stop answering and practice varies by state. We correct what we find, and we cannot promise that every page is current on the day you read it. Where we do not have something confirmed, we say so rather than fill the gap.
- Reading this does not make us your lawyer or your doctor.
- No professional relationship is created by reading an article, and we cannot accept liability for decisions taken on the strength of one. What we can do is help you reach somebody who is qualified to advise you, which is what the legal and health parts of our work exist for.
- We cannot promise an outcome, and we cannot make anybody safe.
- A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. A plan works until the day it does not. Anybody in this field promising safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
Do not let this notice stop you acting. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. If something is medically urgent, go to a hospital — you do not need a police report to be treated. And if you do not know where to start, that is a normal way to begin: use the contact page and we will take it from there.
Also worth reading:
