Ending a marriage in Nigeria depends on how the marriage was contracted. Statutory marriages, customary marriages and Islamic marriages are dissolved through different courts under different rules, and the differences are substantial rather than technical.
This is an outline to help you ask the right questions. It is not advice on your case, and anyone who gives you that without knowing which kind of marriage you have is guessing.
Statutory marriage
A marriage registered under the Marriage Act is dissolved by a court under the Matrimonial Causes Act.
There is a single ground, which is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. That has to be proved by establishing one of a defined list of facts. The one that matters most here is behaviour such that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent. Persistent violence, cruelty and desertion all fall within it.
Most petitions cannot be brought within the first two years of marriage without the court’s permission, which is worth knowing early because it changes the timetable.
Judicial separation, the option most women have not heard of
A judicial separation recognises in law that you are living apart. It can deal with maintenance and with arrangements for the children, without dissolving the marriage.
It is worth knowing about for two groups of women in particular. Those for whom divorce is impossible for religious or family reasons, and those who are not ready to decide and do not want to be forced into a decision by the only available process.
It gives legal structure to a separation while leaving the marriage in place. For many women that is the outcome they actually want, and they never hear that it exists.
Customary marriage
Customary marriages are dissolved in customary courts. The procedure and the expectations vary by community, and local knowledge matters more than anything written here.
Questions about the return of bride price are common. They are also frequently asserted more forcefully than the law requires, and often by people with an interest in the answer. Get advice before accepting that you owe anything, and do not treat a family meeting as a legal ruling.
Islamic marriage
Islamic marriages are dealt with in Sharia courts in states that have them. There are several recognised routes to dissolution, including at the instance of the wife.
Take advice from somebody who practises in that court rather than relying on what you are told at home, because what women are told about their options in this area is very often incomplete.
Children
The court decides on the basis of the welfare of the child. Not on who left, not on who earns more, and not on who owns the house.
Violence towards a mother is relevant to that assessment. It should be put before the court properly, with evidence, rather than mentioned in passing, because a court cannot act on something it has not been shown.
Contact between children and their father is treated as a separate question from what he did to you. Arrangements can include supervised contact and handovers at a neutral place. What a court considers and how contact is usually handled is set out in full separately.
Property and maintenance
A court can make orders about maintenance and about property. Contributions that were not financial, such as running the home and raising children, can be taken into account, although outcomes vary considerably between courts.
Gather documentation early and quietly. Photographs of land documents, account statements, business records and receipts. You cannot claim a share of something you cannot describe, and a court works from documents rather than from recollection. If he controls all the money, that article covers what to gather and how to do it without being noticed.
How long and how much
Longer and more expensive than most people expect. Contested cases run for a year or more, sometimes considerably more, and adjournments are routine.
The Legal Aid Council of Nigeria, university law clinics and several charities take these cases without charge. We can help you find somebody, and legal protection is one of our six programmes precisely because cost is the barrier that stops most women starting.
A protection order is separate and faster
You do not need a divorce to get a protection order, and getting one does not commit you to ending your marriage.
Many women get the order first and decide about the marriage later, sometimes years later. If your immediate problem is safety rather than status, that is almost always the right order to do things in.
If your family is against it
Family pressure is often the loudest voice in the room and it is usually well meant. It is also frequently based on assumptions about what you would lose that are not accurate, particularly about the children and about the bride price. How to hold your own position without losing everybody is dealt with separately.
Questions people ask
Do I have to return the bride price?
It depends on the community and the customary court, and it is asserted more often than it is required. Get advice before accepting that you owe anything.
Can he take the children because he pays the fees?
Paying school fees does not decide custody. The test is the welfare of the child.
Can I divorce him if he refuses?
Yes. Divorce does not require the other party to agree, although a contested case takes longer.
What is judicial separation?
A court recognises that you are living apart and can deal with maintenance and the children, without dissolving the marriage. Many women want exactly this and never hear that it exists.
Can I start within two years of marrying?
Usually only with the court’s permission for a statutory marriage. Ask about it early because it affects your timetable.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 112. To talk to HealBridge, call or send a message to +2348025170267, or use the form on our contact page. Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right, and pressing the letter E three times does the same thing.
Before you rely on anything on this page
We publish these articles so that you can understand a subject and work out what to ask for. They are written carefully and in good faith. They are still general information about how things usually work, and not advice about your situation, which we do not know.
- This is not legal advice.
- We are not a law firm. Criminal law in Nigeria is largely a state matter, the VAPP Act applies in a state only if that state adopted it, and statutory, customary and Islamic marriages are governed by different law and different courts. Two people with the same facts can have genuinely different options. Get advice from a lawyer who practises where you live — and if cost is the obstacle, ask us, because arranging that is part of what we do.
- This is not medical advice.
- Nothing here is a diagnosis and nothing here replaces being examined. Do not delay seeing a doctor, nurse or pharmacist because of something you read here, and do not start, stop or change any treatment on the strength of it. If something is time critical, go and be seen.
- This is not counselling, and it is not financial advice.
- Articles about trauma, sleep, money, debt, renting or starting a business describe what commonly helps. They are not therapy and they are not a recommendation about your own money. Speak to a counsellor, a qualified adviser or your own bank about your circumstances.
- It may be out of date, or wrong for where you are.
- Law changes, services close, numbers stop answering and practice varies by state. We correct what we find, and we cannot promise that every page is current on the day you read it. Where we do not have something confirmed, we say so rather than fill the gap.
- Reading this does not make us your lawyer or your doctor.
- No professional relationship is created by reading an article, and we cannot accept liability for decisions taken on the strength of one. What we can do is help you reach somebody who is qualified to advise you, which is what the legal and health parts of our work exist for.
- We cannot promise an outcome, and we cannot make anybody safe.
- A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. A plan works until the day it does not. Anybody in this field promising safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
Do not let this notice stop you acting. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. If something is medically urgent, go to a hospital — you do not need a police report to be treated. And if you do not know where to start, that is a normal way to begin: use the contact page and we will take it from there.
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