Reporting is a decision, not an obligation, and it is yours to make. This article describes what tends to happen so that you can decide with your eyes open rather than discovering it at the counter.
Before you go
- Take somebody with you. A relative, a friend, a support worker. Women who attend alone are turned away more often than women who attend with someone, and that difference is larger than it should be.
- Take whatever you have. Photographs of injuries, medical notes, messages, a dated written account, the names of anyone who saw or heard.
- Go to a station in the area where it happened, and ask whether there is a gender desk or a family support unit. Many commands now have one, and the difference in handling is significant enough to be worth travelling for.
- Go early in the day if you can. Stations are calmer and more senior officers are present.
What to ask for
- Ask for your statement to be written and read it before signing. Do not sign anything you have not read, and do not sign anything that does not match what you said. If you cannot read the handwriting, ask for it to be read aloud to you.
- Ask for the extract or the reference number. This is the proof that a report exists, and you will need it for everything that follows.
- Ask for a medical form if you have been injured, so that an examination is recorded formally.
- Write down the names. The officer, the station, the date and the time. Do it before you leave the building, not later.
If you are told it is a family matter
This still happens and it is the complaint we hear most often. It is also wrong as a matter of law.
Domestic violence is a criminal offence in states that have adopted the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act, and in Lagos under the Protection Against Domestic Violence Law. It is not a private dispute to be settled at home, whatever anybody at a counter says.
If you meet that response, you have several options and it is worth knowing them in advance.
- Ask to speak to the Divisional Police Officer rather than arguing with the officer at the desk.
- Ask specifically for the gender desk or family support unit.
- Go to a different station.
- Contact NAPTIP if you are in the Federal Capital Territory.
- Come to us. We will help you go back with somebody beside you, which frequently changes the reception entirely.
On being pressed to settle
You may be encouraged to reconcile at the station, sometimes with him present in the room. You are not required to agree to this.
You can decline, and you can decline without giving a reason. If you are asked to sign an undertaking you do not understand, do not sign it. If you are told the matter will be resolved if you both agree to keep the peace, that is not a legal outcome and it does not create a record you can rely on later.
It is entirely reasonable to say that you want the report recorded and that you are not making any agreement today.
What a report gives you even if nothing follows
This is the part most women do not know, and it changes the calculation.
A report creates a dated official record made by somebody with no stake in your marriage. That record supports a later application for a protection order. It supports a case about custody. It converts a single incident into part of a documented pattern.
Many women report knowing that no prosecution will follow, purely to build that record. It is a legitimate and often very effective use of the process, and it is worth saying so to yourself in advance so that a decision not to prosecute does not feel like a failure.
What will probably happen next
Realistically, one of four things. He is invited to the station and warned. He is arrested and released on bail, often quickly. The matter is referred for mediation, which you can decline. Or the file sits.
Plan for your safety on the assumption that he will be at liberty and will know that you reported. That is the single most important practical consequence of reporting, and it is why the days immediately afterwards need thinking about. Recording what follows matters as much as the original report.
Costs
Making a report should not cost money. If you are asked for money to open a file, to write a statement, to make an arrest or to obtain your own extract, that is not a legitimate charge. Note it, including who asked, and tell us.
If you are not ready
Not reporting is a reasonable decision and it is extremely common. It does not stop you getting medical care, applying for a protection order, or getting support from us.
What is worth doing regardless is building the record. Write it down on the day. Get injuries seen and recorded. Keep the messages. If you decide in six months that you do want to report, the difference between having that and not having it is enormous.
Questions people ask
Will he be arrested?
Sometimes, and often not immediately. Arrest depends on the seriousness, the evidence and the station. Plan on the assumption that he will be at liberty and will know you reported.
Can I withdraw a complaint later?
You can ask to. Whether the case is discontinued is a decision for the police and prosecutors, particularly where the offence is serious. Take advice first, because pressure to withdraw is itself common.
Do I have to report in order to get help from you?
No. We do not report on your behalf without your agreement, and the support is the same either way.
What if they refuse to take my statement?
Ask for the Divisional Police Officer, ask for the gender desk, or try another station. Tell us and we will go back with you.
If you need help now
If you are in immediate danger, call 112. To talk to HealBridge, call or send a message to +2348025170267, or use the form on our contact page. Every page on this site has a Quick Exit button at the top right, and pressing the letter E three times does the same thing.
Before you rely on anything on this page
We publish these articles so that you can understand a subject and work out what to ask for. They are written carefully and in good faith. They are still general information about how things usually work, and not advice about your situation, which we do not know.
- This is not legal advice.
- We are not a law firm. Criminal law in Nigeria is largely a state matter, the VAPP Act applies in a state only if that state adopted it, and statutory, customary and Islamic marriages are governed by different law and different courts. Two people with the same facts can have genuinely different options. Get advice from a lawyer who practises where you live — and if cost is the obstacle, ask us, because arranging that is part of what we do.
- This is not medical advice.
- Nothing here is a diagnosis and nothing here replaces being examined. Do not delay seeing a doctor, nurse or pharmacist because of something you read here, and do not start, stop or change any treatment on the strength of it. If something is time critical, go and be seen.
- This is not counselling, and it is not financial advice.
- Articles about trauma, sleep, money, debt, renting or starting a business describe what commonly helps. They are not therapy and they are not a recommendation about your own money. Speak to a counsellor, a qualified adviser or your own bank about your circumstances.
- It may be out of date, or wrong for where you are.
- Law changes, services close, numbers stop answering and practice varies by state. We correct what we find, and we cannot promise that every page is current on the day you read it. Where we do not have something confirmed, we say so rather than fill the gap.
- Reading this does not make us your lawyer or your doctor.
- No professional relationship is created by reading an article, and we cannot accept liability for decisions taken on the strength of one. What we can do is help you reach somebody who is qualified to advise you, which is what the legal and health parts of our work exist for.
- We cannot promise an outcome, and we cannot make anybody safe.
- A protection order is a piece of paper backed by an enforcement system that is inconsistent. A plan works until the day it does not. Anybody in this field promising safety is selling something, and the promise itself is dangerous because it stops people planning.
Do not let this notice stop you acting. If you are in immediate danger, call 112. If something is medically urgent, go to a hospital — you do not need a police report to be treated. And if you do not know where to start, that is a normal way to begin: use the contact page and we will take it from there.
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