The problem this solves is narrow and very common. Something is happening, or about to happen, and you can make a call — but you cannot say anything that sounds like asking for help, because he is in the…
Leaving frequently does not end the contact. It changes its form. A great many women describe more contact after separation than before, because the person who has lost control is trying to get it back, and because he now…
People assume the risk here is him messaging them. That is the least of it, and it is the part that is easiest to stop. The real problem is that an ordinary social media presence broadcasts a surprising amount…
If somebody checks the device you are reading this on, the fact that you visited a domestic abuse website is itself information you may not want them to have. This article explains what you can do about that, and…
Most advice about surveillance stops at the phone. That was reasonable ten years ago. Now a woman can leave the phone at home, take a car, and still be watched, and the devices doing it are cheap, small, and…
Home has doors and a workplace has other people. The journey between them has neither, and it is also the most predictable thing most of us do — the same route, the same hour, the same bus stop, five…
Two reasons to keep a record, and the second one is the one people expect. The first is that it is for you. Living inside this pattern does something to memory: the calm weeks erase the bad night so…
Most safety advice assumes you are leaving. Most women are not, at least not yet, and a plan that only works if you walk out of the door tonight is no use at all on an ordinary Tuesday. A…
Almost everything written about domestic abuse is written for the day somebody leaves. That is a small fraction of the actual problem. Most women in an abusive marriage are still in it, many will be in it next year…
Ask people what stops a woman leaving and they say fear, or money, or the children. Those are all real. But the thing that most often stops the practical machinery from working, weeks later, is paper. You cannot enrol…
